C. D'Angelo

Mental Health, novel, Women's Fiction Author

Release to Revive

January 5, 2022 C. D'Angelo

Sometimes tradition makes me sick and sometimes I adore it. I like to think creatively and new, but also like to have routine and stability. Am I confusing you? What can I say, I’m a complex woman! But I have a dislike of not wanting to go along with trends of the moment. If you say, “Everyone is doing [insert behavior],” I’ll say, “Cool for them” and do something else to be innovative for myself. I just don’t like to follow the crowd most times because it’s boring to me. So, when new year’s resolutions are spoken of, I support you all the way if making one is your interest, but they aren’t for me. I switch up what I do each year—if I do anything at all (oh yes, it’s not a given)—and this year I am choosing to release some of the mind clutter I accidentally gathered last year. Want to come along for my freedom ride? I’ll help you get rid of your yuck too. Here we go with releasing to revive in 2022.

As a newly published author, I didn’t expect some pieces of a foreign puzzle to jam their way in between the right-fitting pieces of the puzzle I’m working on right now. I don’t know how those remnants got in there, but it’s time to say arrivederci. For example, when I became friends with so many wonderful authors, I was lucky enough that they wanted to help me, and I wanted to return the favor of course. Part of the help entailed them reading The Difference and reviewing it so that my reviews online can start building (this matters, people, so if you give me the honor of reading my novel, please write even a few words on your favorite website (Amazon, Barnes and Noble…)—thank you!). I also want to read all of their works of love, but there simply isn’t time due to having two careers. I’m making my way through my never-ending TBR list, but it’s a thousand times slower than I’d like. Now, I know (hope) that nobody is keeping track of whether I return the favor of reviewing their book if they reviewed mine, but I’m really trying, friends! I’ll get there, but the guilt of not having read some of my favorite people’s novels this past year has been hurting my heart and I need to stop carrying it around.

Another writer’s woe is not reading enough in general, since we become better writers through reading. And, I also want to read some books that aren’t my friend’s books. Gasp! It’s been a while since that happened and I intend to be freer in my reading this year. I have to do that for my soul, you know?

One more aspect to release that I’ll share is pretty obvious…I need to write more. Ah, the eternal writer’s dilemma. I took a much longer than expected break from actual writing since my debut novel published in July and I’ve been on the marketing wagon, then I needed to edit my next book, The Visitor, to get it on track for publication this year. Before I knew it, January arrived! So, as soon as the current edits for it are complete and I send it to the next editor, I’ll finally be starting my third book, The Decision.

Now, how can I truly release these guilts, yucks, and wrong puzzle pieces? I’ll turn to my therapy background and use imagery, maybe some action, and a dash of self-talk. Effective and simple, yet challenging to continuously put into practice.

What I mean by using imagery is that we all have the power to imagine releasing/relieving scenes. Think of such visions as writing your thought of release on a piece of paper, then sticking it in a balloon and watching the balloon float away high into the sky, along with your worry. Or, maybe you prefer screaming the thought into a passing train. As the train zooms by, the thought that bothered you is also moving further away from you. I also like the image of “writing” the distress on a leaf, then imagining it floating down a peaceful river. All of these methods are freeing, as well as able to be practiced by anyone anytime.

Guess what. You can also physically carry out these actions. Maybe you want to actually write on pieces of paper and rip them up, then throw them out. Send your trash out the door by placing it in the dumpster or at the curb. There, the distress is symbolically gone from your special place/home, and therefore your body. See what I mean?

Now let’s add the self-talk. You can say anything to yourself, and this is strong stuff, my friends. What we tell ourselves, we believe. So, I can say for example, “I release the guilt I carry for not yet reading my friends’ books.” I also can remind myself, “I embrace my individual timeline and life commitments.” Letting that ending positive thought wash over soothes me. I can physically feel my shoulders loosen. Now you try.

Fill in your own needed words with these statements:

I release…

I let go of…

I get rid of…

I attract to me…

I embrace…

I welcome…

I will…

You can also pair certain tactics from above, such as envisioning scenes (imagery) then saying these powerful statements (self-talk). Or, you can say a statement as you do an action. Anything is possible and you have a whole year to get in this groove. Isn’t that exhilarating?

I know I can do most anything I set my mind to and I believe you can also. The future is yours to revive. Take hold of it and make it how you want. Choose these new choices and feel the freedom that is 2022.

Bonus: Did you know I’m part of a premier group of authors called the Author Talk Network? Creativity, collaboration, and an urge to communicate has resulted in a unique alliance of nineteen authors, most of whom have never met. We’ve created a network where readers and authors come together to discuss books and so much more. The authors are available individually, or as a panel, for library programs, book clubs, school groups, or clubs and as guests on your show or blog. Just click on the picture below for more information. Contact us because we can’t wait to meet you!

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Mental Health, short stories, Women's Fiction

Interview with Author Mackenzie Littledale

December 6, 2021 C. D'Angelo

December’s blog post is another author interview because you need to know about this fabulous person and writer, Mackenzie Littledale, right now! She’s a Women’s Fiction writer with TWO short story collection books out, including Explorations of Freedom and Testing the Ties that Bind. I had the honor of reading the short story The Names that Survived, where she touches on family history and pride, the search for identity, racial privileges, and the beauty that comes from closure. I enjoyed every culturally rich bit of her main character’s journey and found it inspiring. I know you would too!

Not only is Ms. Littledale an author, but she hosts a blog promoting Women’s Fiction writers and mental health advocates (she was kind enough to feature me on her July post). With her upcoming novel, The Darkness is Mine, and her outstanding accomplishments (see her answers!), she’s sure to keep reaching the stars. Read about her writing world thoughts and exciting plans below.

How do you cope with disappointment or setbacks?

I acknowledge that disappointment is a natural and inevitable fact of life, so I don’t circle around the rim for too long in disappointment or any counterproductive emotion. It helps if I have another idea or project to act on, so I can dust my shoulders off and move on to the next thing. It’s like traveling cross-country in a way. If I start off on the east coast, there are mountains and deserts between here and California, as a metaphor for a long-term project. The weather may not be perfect the whole journey. My vehicle may malfunction and need fixing somewhere along the way. By this, I mean, prepare mentally, emotionally, and physically for whatever it is I want to achieve. Even with the best preparation, something may go wrong or stand in the way. As a real example, a friend referred me to a literary journal editor. Their publication wanted 1400 words of creative nonfiction and other categories. I read a couple stories to get a feel for what they like, wrote something, and submitted it. About two months prior, I had also pitched an idea to Psychology Today to host my series of BIPOC mental health advocate interviews. The idea behind that was to build a reading audience and name recognition for when This Darkness is Mine launches. One fine morning, I got an email from Psychology Today saying they loved my idea and wanted to host my interviews. Literally two minutes later, the literary journal emailed to reject my submission. Having something much bigger and closer to my heart in the hopper made the other rejection sting less. I had another route to keep going forward.

What works best for you with time management?

I hope you don’t laugh too hard at my answer. On days I work, I just go to work. On my days off, I have a notebook and write down whatever I need to do. As I do them, I check them off. Sometimes, I have to write down to eat breakfast, because in my mind, that counts as something done. It’s not prioritized or anything formal. If I write a blog post, there are steps, so I write down each step. If I interview a women’s fiction author, there are several steps, so I write those steps down and check them off as I go. I completed a writing class through the Center for Fiction in New York via Zoom on November 2^nd, and every assignment went into my notebook. If I feel sleepy, I’ll take a nap for however long my body needs to recuperate. Some things in my week are key so they’re in my electronic calendar with reminders and I never miss them unless something urgent comes up.

What gives you energy and joy?

I feel pure joy and pleasure from checking things off my to do list because every single step I take in the direction of my choosing puts me closer to realizing my dream. It also paces me to accept any level of name recognition that may be part of the author’s life. I can’t guarantee success, but doing nothing is doom. I don’t plan to fail because I don’t fail to plan. Energy and joy combined come with eating great food. Now that I’ve identified that a lot of my body pains come from inflammation, I add ginger and turmeric tea to my routine, as well as ibuprofen. Minimizing or eliminating chronic pain is a game changer. I can feel as young as I look and press on.

How do you quiet your inner critic? (the voice of internal negativity)

The inner critic is hardwired into the human brain, so the only strategies available are to listen and give in and quit; ask the critic to clarify why an idea might fail and then plan to avoid those scenarios and press on; thank the critic for continually looking out for my safety and assure that voice that I’ve got this and press on; ignore the critic and press on; tell the critic to STFU and press on. I think of Jon Acuff’s book START!: Punch Fear in the Face and remember that the inner critic has a script and can’t depart from saying the exact same thing no matter the circumstance. Once I recognize that truth, I can uncover, reveal, explore, and create my own preferred truth. That I can do something I set out to do. We also have a built in coach and cheerleading squad. We get to choose which internal dialogue we want to listen to. If the voice we’d prefer to hear in our head is too soft or is silent or isn’t convincing, then we can turn to motivational speakers on YouTube. Before I sat down to start writing This Darkness is Mine, I woke up early every morning and watched motivational speeches on YouTube until I felt more confident. Confidence is NOT a personality trait. It’s a skill that we can learn and develop.

What is your next project or goal? If it is a book, tell us about it and when you hope to publish it.

Rhodes to Hell is my NaNoWriMo 2021 project. It’s a domestic suspense novel, so it’s a bit of a genre departure for me. But I love reading suspense, so I feel like it’s possible. That will swallow up a decent portion of November. I’m still reworking This Darkness is Mine for my agent at Serendipity, who’s totally working at my pace on the project. I love them! I’m seeking mental health advocates to interview for From Margin to Mainstream, which is my blog on Psychology Today’s website, and that’s exciting. The first interview is live, I’m working on the second, and seeking people doing interesting things going forward. Also, I’m writing new material for a paperback collection of short stories. I’m self-publishing that and hope to have it ready for Christmas shopping time.

This has been delightful, C. Thank you so much for asking these probing questions. Be well.

Thank YOU! I am grateful for our friendship that started on Twitter and has grown over the years. Yay Women’s Fiction writers!

Testing-the-Ties-that-Bind-short-stories — *Click on picture to purchase*

Explorations-of-Freedom-short-stories — *Click on picture to purchase*

More ways to connect with Ms. Littledale:

Website – https://www.mackenzielittledaleauthor.com

Psychology Today Blogger – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/margin-mainstream

Twitter: @mackenzielitt13

Facebook: @mackenzielittledalewriter

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author interview, Behind the scenes, husband

Interview with Author Ashley R. King

November 8, 2021 C. D'Angelo

It’s time for another author interview! This month’s blog is dedicated to an outstanding romance author, Ashley R. King. I never read romance before reading her first book, Painting the Lines (released 2020) and soon became a fan of hers and of the genre. Now she is releasing her second book, Forever After, this month (11-18-21)! I had the honor of reading it as an Advanced Reader Copy and loved every second. It’s the perfect mix of creepy and cute in a world of a vampire reality show where love, and murder, ensue. I cannot recommend this book enough, as well as everything this fabulous author writes. Read below to see her insights for you.

What motivated you to keep going on the major project of writing your book(s)?

My amazing husband has encouraged and motivated me the most. In 2011 I thought, hey I’ve always wanted to write a book, I should give it a shot and he encouraged me every step of the way. I self published that one and then went on to keep writing. For a while there I wondered if my writing could ever get published by an actual publisher. So I wrote more and kept getting rejected (as is the life of an author, am I right? Lol).

I thought about quitting, but my husband, oh my sweet husband, he would send me Rocky Balboa memes and gifs and play that scene from the Rocky Balboa movie where he gives the best motivational speech ever. Then he’d play Runnin’ from the Creed 2 soundtrack or he’d cue that scene up where Adonis Creed is in the desert training and getting ready to fight Viktor Drago again (okay, we’re clearly HUGE Rocky Balboa and Adonis Creed film fans here). That along with my husband’s sweet words and notes inspired me to keep going even when I wanted to give up, to dig deep, and do what I’d always dreamed I’d do—publish a novel with an actual publisher. This is exactly how Painting the Lines was born!

What gives you energy and joy?

What gives me the most energy and joy is spending time with my husband. It doesn’t matter how bad of a day I’ve had, being around him always makes me feel much better. I also get immense joy from reading a really good book, from having a great writing session, snuggling and playing with my sweet, spoiled cat child, Cleo. Traveling also gives me such energy and joy and never fails to inspire me to create.

Share one meaningful aspect of you that appears in your writing. This can be personality, physical attributes, or anything else.

I include a lot of little pieces of myself in my writing for sure. Most of my heroines are snarky and awkward, just like I am. I’m slowly starting to integrate a few other deeper things that I deal with such as anxiety and overthinking. It was so meaningful to me when you did that, and you inspired to try and add more of that part of me into my own books. So thank you for that! 😊 (AWWWW- thanks so much. Ashley!)

What is your next project or goal? If it is a book, tell us about it and when you hope to publish it.

My very first paranormal romance novel, Forever After, will publish on November 18^th and book 2 in the Ace of Hearts series, The Wilde Card, will publish February 15^th of next year. I’m working on those two series, but also I’m working on a top secret rom-com project and hope to finish it by the end of the month. I have so many ideas but not enough time to write them all lol.

Thank you so much for taking the time to interview me—it’s been a pleasure and I truly do appreciate it! 😊

The pleasure is all mine, Ashley! I can’t wait for more books from her. Keep them coming!

Forever-After — Click on picture to purchase- pre order eBook now, paperback available 11-18-21

Also, check out her first novel!

Painting-the-Lines — Click on picture to purchase

Social media links and website:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleyrkingwrites/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ashleyrkingwrites

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ashleyrkingdaydreamers

Twitter: @ashleyk628 (currently on hiatus)

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19795783.Ashley_R_King

Website: https://ashleyrking.weebly.com/

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Author, expectations, experiment

Experimenting with Great Expectations

October 7, 2021October 7, 2021 C. D'Angelo

What did you think of my first author interview in last month’s blog post? I hope you enjoyed it and like the variety I have here now. See, you don’t know if the month will bring an interview or my personal journey, so you have to follow along to find out. Hmm, I wonder what will next month have… You will see! Just click “Follow” at the bottom of the page and you will receive the monthly email with my post.

But as for this month, I want to ask a question. Are you a scientist? Most people will answer, “No” (I don’t think I have a huge reader audience of scientists but maybe I will be pleasantly surprised!). I am not a scientist, but realize I need to act as one in this great experiment I have gotten myself into with being an author. With having a new career as a novelist, I am learning as I go, therefore needing to experiment but also to check my expectations. Sure, I have researched as much as possible ahead of time and always think through every single thing I say in public, but I also have to try some things out to know if they work. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. It comes with self-doubt, anxiety, fear, endless time devoted, money spent, and probably more that I am blocking out. Kidding, not kidding. But hey, let’s not forget about the high of success in an experiment; the smiles on readers’ faces, the kind comments about my book and my presence online that I receive, and the surprises that are unpredictable. Sometimes I aim for a one result and get another, sometimes I receive an unexpected bonus, and sometimes I f-f-ail. ☹ Ok, that’s a strong word, but still, you get my drift.

Now, think about your own expectations with an endeavor. This could be as simple as making a trip to Target. Maybe you expect to get there in 5 minutes, shop and find everything you need, then come home and start laundry. Ah, but what if there is traffic on the way, the store is out of your common you-can-bet-that-they-have-it item, and you get home so late you don’t have time to start laundry before going to bed? You expected a yellow pineapple and got a pink one, so to speak. If you had your heart set on the yellow pineapple you may be disappointed with the pink one, but if you were open to any color pineapple, you would feel fine. There would not be a mood shift and no impact on your night. Perspective is everything. That’s how an author scientist needs to approach all activities for marketing.

This month is Italian Heritage Month, so I have many activities planned.

It’s the first full week and already I have come across challenges, reminding me of those pesky expectations that crept in again. My one day $.99 sale began and ended earlier and later than desired due to websites loading at different times then price matching back and forth. Next, my first giveaway post ever went out on the day after the Instagram and Facebook blackout. I thought the platforms were fixed by the next day because my pages were fine, but this wasn’t the case for everyone. So, problem solving mode ensued and all was/will be fine. Expectations had to get in check and remembering about experimenting had to take over. It was a great reminder that this has to happen with anything I try. If an error occurs, I will try to solve it. Just like Vanilla Ice (‘90s kids anyone?). “If there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it.” Now I have a huge urge to continue to recite the song, but I’ll spare you. 😊

Where did this genius idea of viewing activities as experimenting come from? My wonderful author friend, Debbie Cromack, who is the kindest human and also a new author, shared it with me this year (go check out her social media and books). It helped me tremendously to give myself a break from my high standards that sometimes are out of my control. I do not know how an action will translate into sales of books, so I have to try what I can to the best of my knowledge. Entering a promotion for my book The Difference, a new way to post or blog, or anything else I may madly experiment with needs to be approached with eyes and mind wide open but also through that lens of “It’s just an experiment.” This phrase helps my mindset if a mini disaster strikes, but sometimes Debbie still needs to remind me (thanks, friend!).

So my pointer to you for keeping expectations in check would be to visualize success but accept a different outcome because it’s all an experiment in this thing we call life. That’s it. Just try something and see what happens. Trying will always lead to some result, whereas not trying will get you nowhere fast and possibly leave you with regret and thinking, “What if?”

I will be talking about my written words the rest of my life and will continue to find ways of sharing about it, all with hopes of reaching more people in this great experiment of sharing my art. I will just have to embrace the wins and let the lows roll off my shoulders. I’m not great at that, but I will keep learning. That’s what experiments do for us after all; give us knowledge for future action. Happy experimenting, all.

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author interview, Behind the scenes, inspirational, relatable

Interview with Author Heather E. F. Carter

September 9, 2021 C. D'Angelo

author-blog-with-c-dangelo-and-heather-e-f-carter

Remember in last month’s post how I said I had a blog announcement? Well, here it is! I will be interviewing authors from all genres in this monthly blog but also will sometimes still write my posts that you know and love. I will keep you on your toes month-to-month because there won’t be a set pattern. Are you as excited as me?

I am continuing to offer behind the scenes inspirational and relatable topics for both writers and non-writers via these interviews. A goal of my blog is always to include gifts to you as my reader, such as a new task to try or words that touch your heart and help you to heal, grow, or change in a positive way. The interviewees are broadening my insights already as I know they will do for you as well.

In my first author interview below, you will have the pleasure of reading debut author Heather E. F. Carter’s thoughts on lessons learned, self-care, and upcoming projects. I can’t wait for more from her because The Black Unicorn is a beautifully written, emotion evoking historical romance novel that sticks with you far after you finish the last words on the page. Enjoy!

What would you tell yourself 5 years ago about facing the challenge of publishing?

If I were able to send a message to myself five years ago regarding the challenge of publishing, I’d first of all tell myself that the book is good. I wrote The Black Unicorn ten years ago while I was in graduate school, and then I let it sit on a shelf. I honestly didn’t think I had anything in it. I forgot about it; or, if I did happen to think about it, I’d tell people that it was no good. I’ve been, on occasion, very insulting to my story of Ashby and Elina. So if I had words for Heather of five years ago, it would be first of all that the story is good. Secondly, I’d tell myself not to waste any time looking for an agent. I spent about three years in the query trenches, and alas traditional publishing wasn’t meant to be my path. If I hadn’t wasted so much time looking for an agent, I’d probably be on my third book by now. And as for the challenge of publishing? I’d tell myself exactly what I tell myself when tackling any big problem: Bird by bird. This is, of course, in reference to Anne Lamott’s wonderful book. Just take each new challenge or problem one step at a time. Don’t get overwhelmed by the big picture.

What motivated you to keep going on the major project of writing your book(s)?

Once I had committed to Ashby and Elina’s story about three years ago, the one thing, or person I should say, that kept me going was my husband, Terry. He’s always been my #1 fan, and he’s always pushed me to publish my stories. He’s currently pushing me to publish my vampire story, and I’m afraid that I’m going to have to ignore him on that one, lol. But he’s always been very determined to see me in print.

What gives you energy and joy?

One thing, non-writing-related, that gives me energy and joy is music. I am a flautist; once upon a time, a very serious one. And I do write to music, so I suppose that perhaps it’s writing-related after all. But it’s music for me. I married a professional musician, so music is a daily, sometimes hourly, part of my life. When I need inspiration for a scene, I’ll often choose a song and play it on a loop until I find what I need for that scene. All of my love scenes were written to music. That is significant, if you’ve read my story, because I’ve been known to write pretty decent love scenes.

Share one meaningful aspect of you that appears in your writing. This can be personality, physical attributes, or anything else.

There are a few meaningful aspects of me that have found their way in my work. For one, Elina is essentially me. Well, she is as far as personality goes. I am most certainly not a tall British redhead. But as far as her motivations go, that’s all me. Elina is also a flautist. That particular scene was cut in the final version, but Elina plays the flute very well. And the scenes involving dancing all come from my understanding of eighteenth-century music.

How do you reach your goals?

In the past, I have reached my goals by doing nothing else until that goal has been reached. I like to joke that I’m a terrible multi-tasker, which is totally true! I’m very good at focusing all my attention on one thing at a time, and then excelling at that one thing. That is how I wrote The Black Unicorn a decade ago. I took a year’s leave of absence from my doctoral program, and I wrote a book. Sadly, I cannot do that anymore. Adulting. And children. This isn’t really such a bad thing. So for my next project, The Golden Phoenix, I’ll write it by doing about two hours a day. But first I must research, because I honestly have no idea what happened in 1796! So I’ll research for about six to eight months, again by devoting about two hours a day to it. I go very deep with my research. It’s a holdover from my doctorial days when all my research would be subject to a peer review. I research like I’m writing a history book. Then it’s a question of finding the right balance, and not writing a history book. So I’m probably about two years out from the publication of The Black Unicorn’s sequel. But such is life when you write romantic historical fiction. Diana Gabaldon takes four years to write her Outlander books, so I’ll take my two-year timeline and be happy about it. And The Golden Phoenix will be in many ways a very different story from The Black Unicorn. For one thing, Ashby and Elina are not in it. Many will find that disappointing, but never fear! Book three will be the continuation of their story. In The Golden Phoenix, I am rather continuing Tristan’s story line. Tristan deserves his happily ever after. Poor guy got a raw deal in The Black Unicorn. So you can expect to see that story come out in 2023… perhaps earlier, if I really get to work. In the meantime, I’ll be posting snippets of it, along with short stories from Ashby and Elina’s timeline, on Kindle Vella.

the-black-unicorn — Click on the picture to purchase

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marketing, new release, shy

Selling Myself

August 16, 2021 C. D'Angelo

How do you feel when you talk about yourself? I have never thought about this question in depth until trying to be a published author, which I now am thanks to the four times #1 Amazon New Release novel The Difference publishing last month. Woo hoooo! But back to the question. Think about the feelings that rise within when talking about your accomplishments, your struggles, or your goals. If you are in the writing world, you probably have been faced with this situation since marketing is needed to sell your product, the book. But I feel like I’m selling myself as well since I am my brand. Obviously we all know we need to talk about the product to sell it, but doing it is another story, at least for this shy author who was raised not to brag.

Now take what I said in the first paragraph. Did you catch the irony of me proclaiming to be a shy author and alluding to it being strange to talk about myself yet sharing how my book made it to #1? This is exactly what I am talking about here. Inserting that information in this post is uncomfortable for me because I feel like I am showing off, but I need to tell you notable facts so that you know my book is worthwhile to read. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of any success that occurs, but it still feels unnatural for me to basically say, “Hey look at me.” Don’t even get me started on needing to take selfies!

Now try sharing information like this almost every day publicly where anyone can see and judge you. That is my world of being an author trying to sell my book/future books and pitching services for writers. Are you cringing yet? I am! Yet, I push on past the societal standard of not dominating a conversation about myself.

I’ve struggled lately with a good problem from this original good problem. How do I know when to post on social media about book information like a wonderful review or picture of my gorgeous cover vs posts within my themes (Italy/Italian culture, book setting locations, reader/writer topics, family/genealogy, and inspirational quotes)? I use my judgement for when I feel like it may be overkill to talk about my book one more time in the week, but I also need to talk about it to continue making sales. I also won’t lie to you by saying I don’t want to show all the pretty pictures people have taken of my book because it’s artistically fulfilling. But, okay, okay, I promise not to post those daily. A balance is needed so I space them out. I never want to be one of those authors who only post about their book. What fun is that for my followers? Also, there is more to me than the book and more I can offer the followers. Just as I do in these blog posts, I want people to relate and feel heard, as well as be inspired. A variety of posts are needed to achieve that goal.

So how can I come to terms with shouting out my winning situations to continue raising interest about my book? Here is what I think at this moment in time that I hope can also help you if you have a similar circumstance:

Just do it. Yes, Nike is right. No matter how I feel, I need to carry on, share the fabulous info, and create the book post.
Ignore the possibility of negative thoughts from others. I won’t hear them anyway. And if they share them with me, I don’t have to take it as fact. As the phrase goes, haters gonna hate.
I’m doing the best I can with the knowledge I have. I think most people function this way, so let’s embrace that idea. Keep this in mind before judging too. I try to do so.
Visualize success. The mind is so powerful that we can dream things into reality (with some action of course). Use your imagination for seeing yourself in your successful space, then share without a care. Did I just come up with a new phrase? Hmm…
Embrace being proud of myself. This is okay! This is healthy.

Tell me if you have had any of these similar thoughts and how you conquer them. Selling ourselves doesn’t have to be frightening. Let’s make it fun and help each other out along the way. Now excuse me while I go and post about myself.

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PS: I will be making an exciting blog announcement in my August newsletter. Changes are on the horizon. Sign up to be a C. VIP and receive news first, plus get freebies and a role in my projects.

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Organize, Strategy, Tactic

The Ultimate Organizer’s Challenge

July 5, 2021 C. D'Angelo

This is an exciting month for me because my debut novel, The Difference, is releasing on 7-29 (view the cover and back cover blurb here)! I didn’t realize that publishing involves so much of a skill that I love, but that would present as a stressor, even for this structure-loving person. I’m talking about organization.

Do you like to organize? I mean, do you get a thrill out of walking down the aisle of an office supply store? You know, viewing all the choices for color coded file trays, feeling the textured cardstock choices, or making the choice of which decorative pen holder will look the best on your pretty little desk? Do you find joy in having email folders for every situation? If so, you are my people! But, friends, publishing a book means organization of epic proportions. A real organizer’s challenge.

See, what happens as you get close to publishing a book independently is that you are working with professionals such as editors, a cover artist, and a formatter. This means many emails back and forth because many decisions need to be made. Of course, if my path was more normal I would have already had my cover done, but that’s a whole other blog post!

Next, add the marketing and promotion emails. These include ordering bookmarks, bookplates, swag for giveaways (I have worked with some businesses for donations for my launch parties), setting up interviews (think times, formats, obtaining questions), and establishing accounts in about a million places to actually get that book to you as readers. I estimated that I received at least 40 emails one day and realized I needed to set aside time to organize. I need an assistant! Kidding, not kidding. Usually, I would love this task, but when finishing editing, working at my day job, and keeping up with home life, it was becoming an unexpected downer. Yeah, not everything is roses and rainbows in the publishing world…are you shocked? Eek, sorry to ruin an image for you. But, for you writers out there, it’s all worth it!

Well, I kept trying to organize the emails, but the info kept forming a metaphorical pile. This is a good problem because it means the plan is in motion, but still, ahhh! I ended up creating spreadsheets for marketing tasks (ok, my husband created them but I am using them!). I have never used a spreadsheet for my art, so this was another first for me and thank God for them. This tactic helped, as well as other strategies I’ll share below.

But, organizing has never made me want to cry until recently. How could that be? There were times I felt so overwhelmed by what I needed to keep track of that I didn’t know how to do it. And I like to think of myself as an expert organizer. How could that be as well? I love lists (much like my character Rachel in The Difference) and creating order, but this was a new level. I needed to take action and fast. Here is what I did. Maybe it will help you as well, which you know is always my hope.

Star/flag emails that are essential. The emails of great importance would get lost if I didn’t do this.
Create email folders for different topics. For example, I have a marketing folder, a paid services folder…
Keep immediate (maybe for the next week) emails in your inbox. Sort the rest into the specific folders. I do keep some emails in the inbox longer if I know the task is coming up soon.
Keep the latest email from someone if you have emailed multiple times and delete the rest in the chain (unless an attachment is an original). There is no need to have the in between emails. They just clutter the inbox.
Create lists on paper or digitally. I had a list of what to do now and what to do when my book sale links are established, for example.
Use your phone notes app. I sometimes am away from home where my beloved list resides, so I use the notes app then transfer the info to the paper once home. I even may send an email to my account to remind myself. Then, I immediately delete it when home!
Set daily reminders in your phone. I have daily must-do tasks which are more urgent than the to-do list on my desk (I form levels of importance). The reminder pops up every day in the morning. Yes, there are that many things to keep in order for this publishing adventure. Sometimes I have to move a task to the next day so I’ll just change the date in my phone.
Establish physical places for items on your work space. I have a section on my desk for the to-do list, the publishing notes for loading my book into different platforms, and I have a tray/box with other info for a little later down the road, like my book tour that starts on release day of 7-29.
Walk away and know it will be ok! I had to put this one in here. Sometimes I need a break from keeping everything flowing. I’ll do some self-care like take a walk.

See, we can conquer organizing! Viewing my digital and real info cleaned up brings a sense of peace and I feel more grounded and in control. It’s important for my mental health, as well as to get the job done for my book journey. Tell me what you do to stay afloat with your million bits of info needed in your life. I would love ideas. It brings excitement to this organizing lover’s life.

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Behind the scenes, Debut Author, stress management

Learning while Breathing

June 14, 2021June 14, 2021 C. D'Angelo

You know the exploding head emoji? I think it was created for me to use these last few months for both the literal amount of info I’ve been stuffing into my noggin and the surreal feeling that my dream is finally becoming a reality (The Difference, my debut women’s fiction novel, is releasing July 29!). The truth is that I don’t know if I ever had to cram so much knowledge into my head in such a short amount of time in my life. Have you ever felt this way? Eek!

When I decided to change publishing paths and also to release my book 3 months from that decision, I knew it would be challenging but went full steam ahead from second one. I don’t regret it, but wow, there has a lot of long days, late nights, and sacrifices. Not only was I trying to stay afloat with getting the actual work done (aka the editing of each draft—and there have been 4 since that time), but I had to find the professionals I needed for each step, coordinate their schedules with mine and the other pros I wanted to hire, fill out their forms and such so they could do their jobs (this meant decisions and creating promo type stuff), make choices for where to publish as well as details like book size, and solidify my marketing plan quicker than intended. I won’t bore you with the million other details, but believe me they are numerous. And I also work a full-time job. Wow, huh? Publishing a book takes good time management, and thank God I excel in it.

What struck me multiple times was that I needed to know not only the obvious steps and make the known decisions, but that there were so many hidden tidbits of info that I either didn’t know I needed right away or that I wouldn’t have found without the help of my friends or the pros—and many of these bits led to hours of time. For example, when I put my book on Amazon next month, I need to include relevant categories so when people search, it may populate as a choice for them. I was lucky that a friend showed me how to choose the categories wisely as well as how to add more than first allowed. For a solid week I felt like so much info was coming at me everywhere I turned that I started making lists upon lists (a quirk of my main character in my book by chance, haha). I still have a list—down to one now—a mile long to work on every chance I get.

I’m sure you can relate to the rabbit hole of the internet. If I find one article on a publishing topic, there are usually links within it that take me to more articles with more links within. Aaaahhhhh! It’s welcomed and needed info, but can be a little overwhelming. At one point anxiety grew, leading to a racing heartbeat and shallow breathing. Along with the need to push myself to continue, I realized I also needed to breathe and take a break sometimes. This is difficult for a workaholic like me because my mind never turns off. Upon waking, my mind races before I even open my eyes. During this time period, I’ve been in overdrive, but I’ll burn out if don’t give myself a break. So how did I do that? Read on!

What I did to cope can be done by anyone at a stressful time, especially while in the process of learning (and before your head explodes). You may engage in some of these strategies already, but some may be new to you. I’m sure you have your own unique ways of self-soothing, so feel free to share them with me as well. The more minor and sillier the better!

4-4-4 deep breathing- I love this one. I use it with clients as a therapist and it works for me as well. Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts/seconds. Then, hold for 4 counts. Finally, release through your mouth for 4 counts. I only do this 3 times, or I get light-headed, but you can do it as many times as needed. 😊
Get up and walk away- Sometimes I walk to another room and stare out the window. Sometimes I walk around the house for a minute.
Go outside- Even for 2 minutes, this helps me tremendously. I don’t know why but getting out of the walls of my home and seeing the sunshine on most Florida days refreshes me.
Change rooms- I am lucky that I have an office and an art room in my house, so I alternate between them to work. There is a desk in my office, but in the art room I have a table or a comfy chair to use.
Change sitting positions- Speaking of the comfy chair, sometimes I sit there, sometimes I sit at the table, and sometimes I sit on the floor on a pillow, using my ottoman as a table. I usually sit in strange positions, and it isn’t until later that my middle-aged legs ask me why.
View social media- I don’t allow myself to stay on longer than 5 minutes if in work mode, but the interactions with friends are inspiring, often a comedic break, and can be motivating.
Talking to others- I alwayyyys feel relief in talking about my stress. My husband knows this one well! So I may do just that or talk to a friend real quick via messaging on social media or texting. Again, they cheer me on and they give me the boost I need sometimes. Validating words go further than you would think.
Get a different drink- I often drink water while working, but sometimes mix it up with different drinks, which sounds ridiculous, I know. But somehow the change keeps me going. Sometimes a girl needs a sparkling water instead, you know?
Self-talk- Never discount the strength of what you tell yourself. Our thoughts are powerful and can influence our feelings, I believe. So, give yourself a pep talk or come up with a phrase that keeps you going. Last week, during my last ever edits of The Difference, I told myself, “This is the last time.” It helped.

The balance of meeting a goal and taking care of yourself can be hard, but it is needed. People, take care of yourselves because you are the only you that exists. Let’s do what we need to do, learn all we can, but remember to breathe while doing it.

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Behind the scenes, Debut Author, Women's Fiction Author

The Key to my Success

May 18, 2021 C. D'Angelo

Sometimes what we think will never happen is exactly what happens. When I started my publishing journey in 2019, I would have never thought I would still be waiting for The Difference to be published in 2021 because I got my contract with a small press so fast. But, life happened and here I am on a whole new journey, one that has left me more knowledgeable for my future but most importantly happy and free. I believe I need to create my success, regardless of any barriers that arise.

If you have been following me on social media and are receiving my newsletter, you know I have decided to self-publish my debut book, as of last month. My heart can’t handle querying it again and waiting any longer, so it will be out this summer! I will never publicly explain the many reasons that led me to this difficult but needed decision because I will not be disrespectful to others. Yet, there are some insights I want to express through this blog post which I hope will help you out in your life, in both writing and non-writing adventures.

Let’s start with the picture below.

Isn’t this true? From the outside, it seems like some people are successful overnight and that it is smooth and upward. I hate to break it to you, but this is hardly ever the case. If so, more power to you! I’ll cheer you on and hope it continues that way for you. But, as for us other folks, our path may resemble the right arrow a little more. But isn’t that what’s more fun anyway? Who wants a boring, old, easy success? *Raises hand, but accepts my reality

In the field of psychology, there is a concept called Grit, coined by Dr. Angela Duckworth. Her definition of the word is “passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” Basically, talent and luck contribute to success, but letting nothing stop you (grit) with your goal may matter just as much, as far as she has researched. With any setback or obstacle, if you want that goal, you keep going. That’s grit. And that’s me.

Only those closest to me know how much I’ve worked on all of my writing, but especially The Difference since it’s been my longest project (since 2013!). The sacrifices I’ve made shows my grit, like my first marathon this month. No, not with actual running (I relate to that statement you’ll only see me running if someone is chasing me). My marathon involved editing my book so it would be ready for my editor, to keep on target for my publishing schedule. I stayed up until 11:30 p.m. one night (way too late for me), didn’t even leave the house for a week, and barely spoke to loved ones because I had to get it done. They understood, thank God. Nothing ever has stopped me from progressing on getting my book published, especially not this new pivot with self-publishing. Learning how to be my own publisher makes me proud and having total control is exhilarating. It will completely be my vision, from cover to cover. Ahh, I can’t wait!

Now, having grit doesn’t mean I have to do everything on my own. I think it also means knowing when to ask for help in order to keep achieving the long-term goal. Without my writer friends’ knowledge (and support otherwise) and my non-writer friends for their endless emotional support, I could have never turned around my journey as fast as I did. Within days, I had all the professionals lined up for getting my book done. Hard work was and is ahead, but I’m all in (Gilmore girls reference, anyone?). I’m forever grateful to my support system. Don’t overlook how necessary one is on the mission in front of you.

The recent experience reminds me of a game I played when I led summer camp in the past. One person takes hold of a ball of yarn then throws it to another person in the circle. The intent may be to compliment the next person, for example. Then, they throw the yarn to someone else. Eventually, you have a web of connection by yarn and words. Everyone is weaved together in the game, but still freely independent from the web in front of them, reminding them of their connection to others if they choose it. The web is supported only when everyone helps one another, though. If one person lets their yarn drop, the whole web will collapse. It’s a true metaphor for this writing community. I think we need each other. I am both linked to the other writers and free. We can aid one another in our independent journeys. I know where to ask for help to reach my ultimate goal and they know where to find me.

I encourage you to think about your grit and goals. What’s the key to your success when you realize you are a gritty as me? I know you are! Only the grittiest of gritty people read these sorts of blogs. 😊

Dr. Duckhorn does have a grit quiz, if you search for her and want to take it, but I think you know if you have a gritty soul. By the way, I just want to keep saying grit because it’s fun.

Anyway, I suggest the following to help you gain clarity on your needs (taken from my own experiences):

Think about what your long-term goal is and what it means to you.
How much are you willing to sacrifice for this goal? Financial? Personal time? Changes in relationships?
Envision yourself meeting that goal. How do you feel? How is your life different? Let that feeling guide your decision making in the present.
Once you have decided you must meet your goal, write down your plan. Write this plan old-school style, not digitally. I’ve found in my therapist background that when people use their own handwriting, more commitment occurs, as well as more creativity in the plan. I won’t bore you with details, but it includes seeing your own processing on paper.
1. In your plan, think about who you have as a support system. If you don’t feel you have a good one yet, create one. Join virtual groups and online communities. Join live activities as well. Do whatever you need to do achieve your dream.
2. Set realistic, small steps to walk along the path to your goal. I want you to feel like you are making progress with all that is in your power.
3. Determine what you will allow for a timeline, even for the steps. But this important— account for setbacks. This is life and two steps back will happen on your steps forward. It’s okay. You will rebound.
4. And finally—begin today!

Take the energy you have right now and make your list. Just jot down some ideas. You can always add to it later. I wish you lots of luck and am here to chat anytime to brainstorm.

I want you to be as happy as I am for the new life changing decision I’ve made. It wasn’t easy, but as soon as it was done, it was clear it was the right one for this first book. I’m free. I’m at peace. Best of all, no matter what happens I’m the key to my success, grit and all.

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Debut Author, Women's Fiction Author, Writer

Leaping Out of the Box

April 13, 2021April 13, 2021 C. D'Angelo

When have you gone beyond your comfort zone or “out of your box” in your life? Take a second to think (insert Jeopardy music). Okay, are you back? 😊 I hope you were able to think of an example, but if not, do not fear! I’m here to tell you about my author experiences lately and to hopefully encourage you to take that leap into the great beyond.

Let me clarify why I use the word leaping instead of getting out of the box or stepping out of the box. First, I use the term because getting out of the box is way too normal for me and I’m a quirky lady. LOL! But second, I think sometimes people contemplate taking a risk, possibly peek over the side of the metaphorical box, then either decide to stay or leave. Leaping means you boldly go into the wild by following your gut and to me that’s a leap of faith. If you choose not to leap, there’s no judgment here. Of course, this post is about encouraging you to push yourself so I’m going to say try it out. Just once. Something small. Come on, please?

As I approach the release of my debut novel, THE DIFFERENCE, this year I’m finding more and more opportunities for me to leap than expected. I’m thrilled about it and more than ready after my long publishing journey, but there’s another side. Translation= facing anxiety provoking tasks.

Do any of you relate to feeling anxious leading up to speaking to the public? Where you will show your heart to strangers? Where you will talk to people you look up to in your field? Welcome to my world. I am now in the stage of preparing for author interviews to talk about my book, giving my art and soul (get it? Haha) for public viewing and criticism, and communicating with people I only dreamed of chatting with in the past. I’m SO lucky to be in this place, but guess who I have to keep pushing to say yes. Me!

During brainstorming for one of my potential release parties, I was asked by the host if I wanted to do something on camera and my panicked reaction slipped from my mouth without thinking. A loud “No!” spilled out, but seconds later I was able to process how wonderful the idea is and say “Sorry, that was my fear.” I’ll most likely engage in the genius suggestion whenever that party happens and urge myself to be vulnerable.

Even though avoiding is my usual first reaction, I generally do the fearful thing because I know it will be good for my big picture goal. For my book, I need to take every opportunity kindly given to me, and I have done so this whole time already, from my pitching business to even writing a novel at all. I can’t stop now when it’s most important. What I have been finding is that I freak out a little upon the idea of the opportunity, the moment I accept an invitation, or whatever the case may be. Then, I prepare to the max, while still anxious usually, sign on to do the event, for example, and… all is fine. In fact, I usually feel a huge sense of accomplishment and joy and realize that I worried for nothing.

You know by now that I am always genuine so I’ll be honest in the moment and share if something goes awry anyway. I’m not going to hide it, and people respond to that relatability. Isn’t it better to show we are all human and imperfect? So again, why stay in the box? It doesn’t make sense. Being free is so much better, especially when we free ourselves from the fear of sounding a certain unflattering way or making a mistake. Nobody cares as much as you. Nobody is as focused on you as you. Nobody will remember these silly moments, so let’s not let the possibility of them keep us from wonderful new experiences.

Instead of thinking about failing, I try to change my mindset to what beauty can come from taking the leap. I have the analytical side and the dreamer side in me, so I try to embrace the positive “what if” side for these circumstances.

A theory I use in my clinical setting as a psychotherapist is called *Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The basic idea is that thoughts lead to feelings which lead to behaviors. So, if you have an unhealthy or illogical thought, you may feel a certain negative way, which makes you act in a certain way. For example, if I think “I’ll make a fool out of myself if I do the live interview,” then I may feel sad, anxious, and fearful. The behavior is that I may decline the interviewer or maybe I will avoid even responding to the invitation. But I can try to challenge my thought with evidence from the past, such as how no disaster has ever happened during interviews, only good outcomes. I also may ask myself what I would tell a friend, because aren’t we easier on others verses ourselves? A final question I may ask is what is the worst, best, or most likely outcome that may occur? Well, in this case, the worst may be I that misspeak or some other insignificant action to everyone else. The best outcome may be that my book sales go through the roof because it was a fabulous interview! The most likely outcome may be that people enjoy the exchange and are interested in being in my author world, buying my book or otherwise. Ah, now there’s relief as a new feeling overtakes me and I may go ahead and say yes to the invitation.

Going outside of your comfort zone usually is where the magic happens. One type of faulty thought is trying to predict the future. The beauty in this is that if we avoid predicting by challenging the thought, we most likely will be pleasantly surprised by the unexpected possibilities and invite goodness to flow our way. Trusting the process is a big phrase in the therapy world, but I think it also applies to life. Sometimes we have to give in to the process and trust it is a good step along our path. That’s why I say leap, don’t inch out of the box.

So, as I venture into making reels on Instagram (eek!), doing live interviews (ahhh!), and soon going outside my natural comfort zone of asking “Hey, want to buy my book” instead of just giving it to people, I’ll continue to push myself and challenge anxiety provoking thoughts. I’ll also be thinking of you inspiring me. We will catapult out of our boxes. That’s right, we will bust out together. I know we can do it.

*The description of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is not to be used in place of therapy.

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